How To: Live With Your Eyes Open

Open your mind to open your eyes.
To live with clear sight you must first have a clear mind, because what we see is only an extension of what we think. And feel. Do NOT forget about the feeling. Because without feeling, are you even human?

I think if I really thought deeply about every problem I have had, the ones that I have created myself, they would all stem from a fear of feeling. Yeah, a FEAR of FEELING. Because NOT feeling can definitely be easier then really feeling. But it is the easy way out – and taking that road only manifests more problems then I started with. Because it doesn’t matter how many times you run, nothing is going away until you fully solve and heal whatever is coming to you.

So now that I finally understand the importance of feeling, of gratitude, of acceptance, of healing, and of awareness, I think it is my duty – as a loving and compassionate human – to guide others to the same discovery and understanding. Because in the end – we all want love. We all crave it. And we all NEED it. And the only way to accept love into your life, is to love yourself first.

YOU come FIRST.

And for many, many, many people – that is a hard pill to swallow. And I was no different. I have always put other people first before myself, for as long as I can remember. I am a people pleaser. I want to help anyone in anyway I can. I hate to see people in pain, suffering, sad or upset. I dislike confrontation, so I was a natural push-over. And paired with my desire to help, this has made me an easy target for manipulation and being taken advantage of. Because I was always afraid to speak up. Because although I wanted all of these great things for other people, I never accepted the thought that I could and should have greatness in my life too. And if you just sit back and think about that deeply for a moment, you will certainly come to the same conclusion that I finally have – it’s insane! It’s insane to wish positive things for other people and not wish the same for myself. How can I even wish happiness for other people if I am not first happy with myself?

So I started my journey inwards – I knew it was time to make my inner voice heard. It was time to listen to myself, to understand who I really am, so I can love myself fully. So I can accept the thought that I DO deserve greatness, just as much as everyone else in this world. And now that I have gone down this ever-evolving path, I can honestly say – greatness is coming into my life. And do you know why? Because I opened my eyes. I opened my mind to possibilities and that opened my eyes to all of the beauty that was already around me. It’s endless. It’s magical. I deserve it, and so do you. Please don’t ever doubt that.

“I love the clarity I now have, no self-doubt to take it away from me anymore. It is a beautiful way to see life – through clear eyes. With a clear mind and a loving heart. This is my way of life.” – just some insight from my personal journal.

NO SELF DOUBT. Please. Do yourself the favour. You won’t be disappointed, because seeing life through wide open eyes is much easier then seeing life through eyes half shut.

Endless love, from me to you.
xo Heidi.

 

 

When in doubt, Write it out

Whatever “it” is at any given moment in time, can be excavated from within me through writing. And “it” is always changing – because I am always changing, and my days are different, and I never know what will come to be the new “it” that I need to understand. But one thing I know for sure, is that once I dig deep, through meditation and writing in my journal – “it” is no longer a problem. I end up with new realizations about myself and my strength that keep me connected to my true self.

Being still and learning to listen to my self, to my inner voice and to my intuition, has been the greatest blessing and discovery of my life to date. We all need this connection, it is the most sacred connection and the most vital to living a life of harmony. This is the path that will lead you to your life purpose. And it is completely accessible for us all – but you have to be still. You have to become comfortable sitting through the uncomfortable.
I saw a quote today that made so much sense to me:
“The gift is in knowing that your past has been your spiritual schoolroom.” – Paul Williams

Reliving my past, extracting the true lessons and blessings, and then releasing the negative control it still had on me was the greatest shift I have ever experienced. It was a very conscious decision that I made, I just knew I was ready to face my demons and lay them to rest. And that freedom has made so much more possible for me – my growth and evolution was catapulted into the realm of infinite possibility and I haven’t looked behind me since. Onward and upward only.

Which has brought me to this moment – writing my true thoughts and feelings freely, knowing they can be judged and scrutinized and absorbed by anyone. But I know my purpose, I am connected to my truth and I believe in myself. Finding my connection has allowed me to dust off my love and passion for writing, one that I have always known was a part of me, but I was too afraid to utilize. And I could look back and see all of the years and talent I wasted, or, I can look at right now and realize how blessed and grateful I am to be writing this blog. To be using my words to find myself and to help anyone that connects with it. To be using my words to find connection, to find the community that I have been longing for, to do good in this world.

When in doubt, write it out. The good, the bad, the ugly. It is the most healing, loving, and essential part of my day. If you can take one shameful memory or experience and write your deepest truths, thoughts and feelings about it – hold back absolutely nothing. Drop your ego, drop all expectations, and just let your heart make that pen write – I promise you will understand the power this modality holds. And I strongly and graciously encourage you to try it. It has changed my life and I am positive it can do the same for you. Never underestimate the power of your own written words.

Happy writing and endless love to you all,
xo Heidi.

 

 

Set Your Past Free

Stop trying to run away from it.
Stop denying it, burying it and ignoring it.
What’s done is done, and there are no take-backs allowed in this game of Life.

No matter the shame, the pain, the fear or the anger – every moment in your life is a part of you, it has shaped you into the person you are in this moment. You can let your past control your present, or, you can accept it and use every lesson as a tool to create a beautiful future. You have the power, the choice is yours and yours alone.

I have gone through my past experiences with a fine tooth comb this last month. I want to end 2017 on absolute acceptance and positivity. Nothing is hiding from me and my awareness. I have relived my most horrible moments – the ones that I am utterly ashamed of, the ones that have brought me so much pain, anger, frustration. I have done many, many things that I am not proud of. Looking back on parts of my life is like watching a movie with someone else playing me as the main character – I don’t even recognize the person I used to be. But going deep into my shame and resentment has been one of the most healing experiences of my life.

Staying present with the pain and discomfort takes serious commitment. It is truly difficult reliving painful memories. I couldn’t sit still, I cried, I basically had a mental freak-out. But holy shit, I stuck it out and as I went through my darkest moments, I finally understood my greatest lessons. There is no way to see in the dark unless you shine a light – so I broke down every barrier these memories have been holding on my life and let that light shine in. I can’t even fully describe how cleansed I feel after this experience. I just feel so pure – like, I am completely and fully home. I am home in myself – the good, the bad, the ugly. It’s all a part of me and now I understand why. And I accept it all. But most importantly – I LOVE it all. Because you have two choices in life: to see every situation through the eyes of love or through the eyes of fear. And I finally (finally!) got tired of choosing fear.

2018 is going to be the greatest year of LOVE that my life has ever experienced. I am so ready for it. I have been dragging my past around with me as a burden. Even the parts that I thought I had accepted needed to be scrutinized and understood even further. I feel like there is no part of my mind, body, or soul that I am not connected to. The freedom that you receive from releasing your demons is the strongest that I have ever felt. My wish for everyone in the new year is to experience this peace. This overwhelming sense of love and acceptance that I have connected with, I hope everyone can find their own version and watch it transform their lives.

Life can be beautiful, or life can be ugly. Life can be positive, or it can be negative. Life can be full of light or it can be full of darkness. It is always, always, always your choice which way you see and experience it all. I hope you choose the light. I hope you choose love – always.

I wish you all a happy, healthy, prosperous and abundant 2018 – full of Love and beauty.

Love to you all,
xo Heidi.

 

 

 

Gratitude.

Wake up – be grateful.
Go to bed – be grateful.
Every moment in between – be grateful.

This is exactly what has changed my life, this was the first practice that I committed to that completely changed my mindset and has opened so many doors in my life. And the best part? It is so EASY. Even when your ego is hounding you and making you believe it is too tough to carry on – it’s not. It is easy.

I have thought about writing a blog for so, so long. It is a reoccurring thought that I have pushed away for so long. And you know what they say about reoccurring thoughts – intuition. Don’t ignore that shit! And why do we ignore it? Fear. It is easier to ignore your intuition then to take a leap of faith and jump into the unknown. Especially when that unknown could involve failure. Who wants to fail? Nobody! But one of the biggest lessons I am understanding in life right now – “nothing grows from your comfort zone.” Nothing. It may feel safe and warm and cozy, but it is a fallacy. You are not meant to live here. You are meant to rest quickly and then MOVE on. Break down walls, break down barriers, speak up, do whatever your intuition is telling you to do.. because I am positive it is not telling you to sit quietly in your comfort zone for the rest of your life.

So I thought my first blog post should honour where this beautiful/amazing/incredible journey of mine started, and it started with gratitude. Actually, that isn’t even true (ha!), it started with 5 really deep fucking breaths. Five long, deep, necessary breaths that I started taking when I felt like my life was out of control (which was A LOT). When I started my journey towards self discovery, self love, understanding and spirituality, I was 25 years old. I was a mother to a three year old boy and a two year girl, married to the love of my life, and my mind/body/soul were totally out of control. I had anxiety, serious health issues, I was stressed out from the minute I woke up to the minute I went to bed – most of which was created in myself by myself. I just felt like I had no idea who I was. I knew I was a mother and a wife and a daughter, but who was I? I was lost in a body that I couldn’t connect with, I was totally betraying myself in every aspect possible – my mind, my body, and my soul.

So I took my first leap of faith – I went to a yoga class. And it was absolutely magical. It felt so good to actually connect my body and my mind – to feel what I was doing, to trust my body and to breaaaathe deeply. And so I carried on with this feeling – I took deep breaths when I felt totally out of control with my children, or whenever I was overwhelmed with anything, or when I was standing in the shower and I just wanted to feel how much breath I could nourish myself with. And once I had this practice grounded in my daily life, I found gratitude. I was grateful for the breaths that I was able to take. I was grateful for the way I was able to move my body every day. I was grateful for my children, my husband, my home, my finances, the sunrise, my eyesight, a good book, anything and everything. Because there is so damn much to be grateful for. And when I find myself going through a low point in my life (because life is all ups and downs) I know I need to stay connected to my gratitude. It always, always brings me back to my true self because it shows me what I am truly grateful for and everything else falls away.

Gratitude is a Universal language. It can be understood by anyone on this big planet.
Gratitude is a commitment between yourself and the Universe. It requires your love, your honesty and your action – but it is really and truly simple. When you are grateful for what you already have, the Universe will gift you with more to be grateful for. Simple.

Take this as your gentle reminder to stop – right now – and connect to your gratitude. It is always within you and if you stay on its path, your life will flow easily.

Lots of love,
Heidi.